A list for hiking

Lest one think that I am somehow immune to the discomforts of hiking, I freely admit:

• I don't like the grime that accumulates on my skin (especially in the recesses of my ears)
• the sleeping pads we use are poor substitutes for a proper bed
• how much I envy men the ability to go to the bathroom without having to remove an article of clothing
• I despair at the sight of yet one more steep climb to make before reaching the day's end
• the first couple of days, my legs are as stiff and creaky as an arthritic, stoop-backed old man
• going downhill is worse than going uphill (seriously)

I do not list the rich aroma that hikers develop after days on the trail, simply because we do not notice it while we are in the backcountry.