His Holiness Pope John Paul III

I'm posting this embarrassing picture because I don't like Pope very much right now...
He has been waking us up starting at 5 AM (that critical point where you can't resume deep sleeping before you have to get up), and for no other reason than the joy of having company.
He seems to know the exact location of your vital organs, or a rather full bladder, and places his paws just so when he climbs on top of you.
Sometimes he gallops across the bed, with such force that he unintentionally propels himself off the other end and smack into the wall. One night I dreamed of intense pressure on my chest, as though I was drowning or being crushed, and awoke to Pope kneading my chest, purring full blast. This is a rather big cat, mind you. So big that the girls below us asked if we had a dog because they could hear the thump-thump of Pope racing up and down our hallway.